Item of the Day: New Age Music

My boyfriend (let's call him "Bot" for funsies) is always finding "treasures" on the side of the street, or in a dark alley, or from the hands of strange men with crazy eyes behind coke-bottle glasses. So last night, when I got to his place, it was no surprise to me that he had magically acquired a giant Tupperware filled with about a hundred CDs.

"Do you want any of these?" he inquired, holding them out to me with pride, "You can have as many as you want."

Now, I may frequently make fun of Bot's treasure hunts (like the time he seriously considered dragging home a giant scraped up dresser that was probably infested with bugs), but I am not one to turn down digging through a pile of mostly 90's compilation CDs. To tell the truth, that is like, my biggest weakness. That, and chocolate of any kind.

I began rummaging through the spindles, placing wanted discs in one pile, and tossing the remainder at Bot, who would occasionally exclaim with glee at new finds ("Sweet! Now I finally have the soundtrack to The Crow!"). But he soon tired of this game, and started making a secret pile.

When I had finished going through all of the CDs, making a pretty sick stack for myself of angry white girl music (Side note: Guys. Guys: Hole, Ani DiFranco, PJ Harvey, Sleater-Kinney, Garbage?! The previous owner was clearly a suburban high school girl in the late 90's), Bot turned to me and said, "I made you a stack of music you'll like."

I looked at him skeptically. This was coming from someone who had, very recently, bought me a 4-pack of deodorant. For Christmas. "Really?"

"Well, I think there is a high probability that you will like the music in this stack," he clarified. "What percentage do you think I'll get right?"

This was a loaded question. I obviously erred on the side of caution and replied, "Uhh...80%?"

I took the stack from him, and I looked at the top disc, and it was - I kid you not - Enya.

ENYA.

I gave him a look, like "WTF?" And all he could say in response was, "What's wrong with Enya?"

What is wrong with Enya:
1. She is like a female Yanni. I'm not trying to hate, but who else could you possibly compare her to?
2. Sail away, sail away, sail away! (Now it's in your head. Merry Christmas.)
3. When I was a freshman in college, I shared a room with someone who was the best roommate ever, except that whenever she needed to concentrate on work - which was invariably - she would just blast the shit out of her Enya CDs.

Guys. I hate Enya.

The second CD in the stack? Jewel.

Oh, well. He didn't make the 80% (he wasn't even remotely close), but he made up for it by finding me a *pristine* copy of Ace of Base's I Saw the Sign. And I guess, sometimes, that's all you can ask for.